Sometimes it’s hard to remember. Sometimes we forget why we’re here and why we matter – to ourselves, to those around us. Sometimes that doubt can get really scary and dark and lonely. I know because I’ve been there. I recognize when these feelings come on, but now I have ways to combat them. Because I am complex, because I have many emotions, things will always get a little challenging sometimes. Emotions are real, and they have very real things to tell us. So, what I like to do when I’m having trouble remembering why I’m special is to start writing. If you’re not a writer, but maybe a musician or artist, or maybe you just like to think things through, you can use the simple two tips below in unique ways to check back in and remind yourself exactly why you’re special and why you matter.
1. Write down all the reasons you’re doubting myself
This may seem like we’re going backwards, but it’s a really great place to start. Why? Because you can get all the junk floating around in your head out onto paper. Think of it as a way of ridding yourself of the negative thoughts. By getting them all out there, with intention, it’s like removing them from your head so you don’t have to burden yourself with them anymore. Especially if you think of it that way.
Tell yourself, “I’ll take as much time as necessary to write down every doubt I’m feeling right now and when I’m done, I’m done thinking about them.” You can remind yourself that if you need to readdress them later, you can, because they’ll be written down. So you won’t need to go over them again and again in your head. You’ve saved all your precious doubts in one place.
2. Write down all the reasons you love yourself
Even if this list seems to be shorter than the first, it will be more impactful in the long run. However, because our doubts can seem to flow from us like a river, we can struggle with thinking of the positive. Force yourself to go through the things you really do appreciate about your personality. Are you kind? Giving? Thoughtful? Artistic? Musical? What have you done recently that you’ve been proud of? And when those seeds of doubt start to replant themselves, write something else that shuts it down.
For you, depending on the headspace you’re in at the time, this might mean trying really hard to think of those things that make you the beautiful person you are. So just do your best. And most importantly, don’t doubt yourself because you can’t think of more than three things in this moment. Those three things are the most important, and as time goes on the list will grow.
3. Choose your takeaway
After you’ve completed your writing exercises, choose the one positive thing that you’ll take with you through your week. Use that positive thought as your mantra to push through each doubt that comes to your mind. Write it down and put it in the book you’re reading, writing on your mirror, add it as a daily reminder on your phone (or better yet, take a photo and make it your background for a week). See how you feel after taking the time to pour these positive thoughts over yourself.
Then, when the following week comes, try doing it all again.